58: I tried to hide. The Lies I Told Myself To #PlaySmall

Show Notes

58: I tried to hide. The Lies I Told Myself To #PlaySmall. 70kg to 57kg. Only when we shine, we give permission for others to shine.

Sharing spotlight is not all about forgetting yourself, letting one's self shine is also giving others permission to shine. 

Hello gorgeous and welcome to today's episode Soul Why Secrets of the Soul Rich Woman Blueprint. I'm your host, Genecia Alluora. Today, I want to talk about how I tried to hide myself.

02:34- 02:41 When we are leaders, there will be people who are not vibrating at the level that you are vibrating at.  

02:57- 03:22 At the earlier stage of Soul Rich Woman, I actually put on a lot of weight. I was nearly 70 kg. I used to be 50 kg. When I was Miss Singapore, I was 50 kg. Then later on when I started a café retail chain, I was 55 and hovering between 57 to 58 kilos. So can you see my weight progression as my age progressed as well? 

03:27- 04:08  As I do my café business, of course, my weight increased because I was eating, I mean, of course, no excuses, but I mean, I just want to share with you my side of the story, so don't judge me. Is it OK? You don't judge me. Is it okay you give me permission to say why I want to say? So I hope that through this sharing you can learn something. So I put on weight along the way and one of the things about my biggest concern is that women may think that I'm overshadowing them because I'm tall, I'm slim. If I were to dress up in the way then people will view me differently.

I try to hide
 04:09- 04:35 So I try to hide. I kind of dress-down even during events. I dressed not the loudest. I dress in a professional manner that kind of like still trying to hide in a certain way. So allowing other women to shine.  So I don't know how I got this warped idea that now I'm looking back at myself laughing. 

04:43-05:57 I choose to make myself ugly, to put on weight. Eventually I weigh 70 kilos and really fat round swollen. And of course, it was really to me, OK, acceptable is all right, because as long as other women are happy, I'm happy as long as they are happy. Lo and behold, it happens again during the mentorship. My mentor asked me, "Genecia, are you really happy being fat and being round? And being the way that you are?" I mean, we are having really honest conversations.  And I'm like, "Yeah. As long as other women are happy when we stand together, I'm not the slimmest, I'm not the most beautiful with my blue color hair. I mean, I'm OK." And then my mentor said, "Look at the way you're talking, you're like backstabbing yourself, belittling yourself, playing small, telling yourself the lies that are not true, that ugly is good." And then for a moment, I was stunned. 

06:03- 07:15 And I thought about it for a moment, I said, "OK, let me come back to you." I did some reflection, I did some inner work again because probably my mentor noticed something that I didn't see. That's why mentors are super important. And I started looking at myself and reflecting on myself, doing some mirror work as well, and looking in the mirror and asking myself, Do I love myself, how am I doing, really? And digging so much deeper, because it's a psychological thing and it's very deep because sometimes we don't notice, and we are not even aware. And after being aware of it, I realized I wasn't happy being fat and round and overweight. I'm not really overweight and 174 in height, one seven four centimeters, and my weight is 70 kilos. I'm not that overweight, but I just didn't feel good. I felt heavy, my legs were hurting, so I started to reflect on all those things that were happening to me physically and psychologically.

 07:16- 08:27 And then aha moment came, oh, I was hiding. I'm just using women as an excuse to just hide myself and not be able to stand in my own light and own my light. Thinking that by "oh, no, I want to let other women shine, so I disguised myself. I hide myself." That is incorrect. Why would I do that? I have no idea. But I did it anyway. Can you imagine we actually can allow ourselves to shine brightly as other women that's around us, there's no need to play small because someone will in order to allow others to shine.  Could you reframe that? Can you restructure that thinking? The answer is yes because when I shine, I give the women permission to shine. When I slim down and embrace my own identity, I give other women permission to shine and embrace their own identity. It was such liberating, that moment of understanding and awareness.

09:36- 10:23  And I'm so much happier and on stage when I share this story of how I overcame my limiting beliefs and how I liberated myself, that by being who I am and owning my light, I was giving others the permission to shine. And one of them, Jane Aisyah Quek, the lady I shared with you that a five to employee turned instant podcast leader she heard my story, and she also decided to embark on her own journey of liberating herself from being the way she was and then slimmed down and therefore being able to shine in her own way, in her own light.

10:26- 11:32  As I share this story, I am laughing at myself and how we cage, we women cage ourselves up, telling ourselves lies and nonsense about how we should, and we should not do in order to let the people around us shine. But you know what? The biggest of it all, the lesson of it all is that only true when you give your permission to shine. That you give others around you the permission to shine. Because alone we are strong, together we are unstoppable. My dear soul rich woman, let me share with you this, there are people less qualified than you doing the things you want to do simply because they decide to believe in themselves, period. So it's time to awaken your mind in time to take the next step.

Key Takeaways:1. Go after personal breakthroughs2. Make yourself shine and give permission to other women the permission to shine3. Inspire others through building yourself4. There will be people who are not vibrating at the level that you are vibrating5. Stand in your light, own your light

Key Resources: 
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